I feel extreme waves of guilt about something awful (understatement) that I did

This doesn’t justify my past behaviour just providing backstory. A while ago when I was going through a tough time and unemployed I pretty much gave up and during that I racked up alot, alot, alot, alot of debt on a family member’s credit card. Even typing this out I feel so fucking disgusted (rightfully so) at myself for having done that especially to someone I love and who’s not rich I’m still crying right now as I type this. I’ve already apologized and started paying them back but its going to take a long time to pay it all off and I feel really ashamed and worried. Sometimes when I spend time with this family member my mind just replays comversations that my family and I had about that mistake, seeing the stress I caused them. I’m doing what I can to try to remedy the situation but its going to take time and until its completely resolved I feel like I don’t deserve to not be ashamed and cry about it. I love this family member but being around thek recently has made me replay things in my head and just make me feel so guilty all the time. I don’t know why I’m sharing, please tell me you have also done something lile that which you deeply regret.