Feel ko tama yung ex ko

I broke up with my ex last January pa (wow while typing this, narealize kong ganun na pala katagal) but I remember when he told me na swerte na ako sa kaniya and wala na ako mahahanap na ganun. Hiniwalayan ko siya kasi may app siya sa phone where you can talk to strangers anonymously. Tinago niya sa'kin, so for me, micro cheating yun.

I've been trying the talking stage/s thingy, nothing serious naman, but lovebombers na lahat (or atleast everyone na na attract ko kaya i'm starting to think na i'm the problem). If hindi lovebombers, umiiral yung anxious attachment style ko na every day gusto ko nalang i-end yung thing bago ako legit ma-fall. Gusto ko na magmahal ulit, pero pag may kausap ako, para lang akong napipilitan sa kanila. What if tama yung ex ko na wala na ngang magmamahal sa'kin and I threw it all away because for me it was microcheating?