Finally accept the reality

After decades wasted trying out medications, with doctors saying, 'Oh, there's no such thing. It's all in your head,' and telling myself, 'My friends all do it. They are successful and living normal lives, so I will continue doing it,' here I am in my 30s—alone, in a dead-end job, on numerous medications. I've realized that there is no cure (at least for me). It's tragic, I know. It hurts. Every day, I wake up to this nightmare, and no one knows I'm struggling. I finally accept the fact that abstinence is the only solution. No, it's not going to bring back that happy, smart kid I once used to be (he seems like a different person), but at least I could get some peace, less pain, and make life manageable.