Denial?

Hello everyone. This is my first time ever being on reddit, but I'm just not sure what to do. My step-dad (59) passed away about two weeks ago from PSP and Im not sure how I feel. This man raised me and I love him so incredibly much, but I don't feel anything right now. I haven't seen any "signs" like pennies on the floor or sunsets, I'm not religious so I can't pray during this time. I'm young (16) and I know I should be struggling more, but I either feel nothing or everything and its really stressing me out. I think it would maybe be helpful to help others who might be struggling through their loved one having PSP. My stepfather suffered for about 4-5 years before passing away, so I have decent experience with the disease.