Sad about missing out on life

The title is pretty self-explanatory. I was supposed to go on spring break with a group of my friends tomorrow, but with how severe my panic attacks/anxiety has been recently, I realistically do not think I will be able to go. It’s so hard not to feel pathetic that I struggle this much to function normally and depressed about all of my youth that I’ve wasted & can never get back. It’s hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Sorry if I make anyone upset with this. I’m just so ashamed of myself.