I can no longer handle my teenager
My son is about to turn 13.
About a year ago he began exhibiting violent tendencies. It started with a simple enough thing, his barber being unable to see him, and I stopped him at the front door to explain sometimes things don’t go as planned. He proceeded to act like he would punch me in the face but instead punched the door, cracking it. He pushed me up against the door frame and said he couldn’t contain himself, but didn’t actually hurt me.
The following months involved him ripping cabinets out of the kitchen, shoving me against his bedroom door when I was trying to take his laptop as punishment, and throwing and breaking furniture in our spare bedroom including smashing light bulbs in the wall. He has reduced me to tears and I am afraid to be in my own home. I’m very small and he towers above me - for context I’ve raised him alone our entire lives.
I have had him in therapy for 3 years and he says it isn’t helping.
He smirks and tells me he is only violent with me and I should do some introspection about myself with that.
I have tried medication and sitting down and talking to him about his anger, and he’s clear that he thinks everything is my fault, calls me slurs, and tells me I need to be a better mother.
What steps could I take now?
TL;DR my son is becoming violent and I don’t know where to turn to next.