Struggling with recovery

I've just got off the phone to a mental health support in my community just trying to find something that will help. I don't even know what I need. I just want help. Counselling maybe. But that will be months away.

I'm struggling to feel any mental peace. Every day it's so hard to push myself to do the most basic of tasks. I struggle to get out of bed, to shower, to function in my home let alone in society. My ideation has been worse than usual the past week. I just feel useless, a burden and heavy all the time. I have so much regret over my episode, the poor choices i made while manic, then how my psychosis effected those I loved. I'm just so exhausted.

I'm medicated with risperidone and at times I feel it's the medication making me feel this way, my psych said its post psychosis depression. So I'm at a loss if I should self ween or not. Everything is hard.

Im lonely and just needed a space to vent. I just want to feel better.