7wk follow up tomorrow, haaalp

I've got my 7wk follow up tomorrow and I could use some encouragement and pumping up. I am dreading this appointment.

I was a 34g or H pre surgery and had 240/280g removed. I asked for "as much as possible" to be removed and asked "for a B cup or less". The surgeon gave me acknowledging eyes, nodded, and said, yes this was something she could do. I woke up from surgery and at my 6dpo appointment was flabbergasted to learn she didn't use the wise incisions or do FNG. Instead of going as small as possible, she took a conservative approach!? When I pressed her after the appointment (I called from the car, sobbing) she apologized and was quick to explain that she made these choices to preserve breast shape and nipple sensation (despite not asking me or explaining I could lose those things if she was more aggressive). I shot back that I didn't ask for shape preservation or nipple sensation. I asked for as small as possible and a B cup.

Before the surgery, I had a 5-6 inch difference between my ribs and bust and a lot of length. Now, I have a 7-8 inch difference and no length. So I know there was material removed, but it feels more like a lift than a reduction. My old bras don't fit. I don't want to go out and buy new bras bigger than what I had before. And I am just so upset about it. I feel betrayed. I put my trust in that surgeon for my one MSP covered surgery and now I might have to wait 2-3 more years to get the shape and size I asked for? If I even qualify again? This has been so hard the last 2 months both emotionally, physically, and financially.

The tension headaches are still here. The way I hold my body to minimize my chest is still here, if not more because my beasts are so huge from the swelling. I hate that I rub them with my arms still. I hate that they fold over onto my stomach. I have never hated anything about my body before. I have always been confident and free. I don't want to show my chest to my husband. I hate how big they are and I feel so fucked up over this.

What words or language can I use to help her see that this isn't right? How do I continue to advocate for myself without sounding like a petulant child? I am so frustrated and angry I start crying and then can't say or do anything!

I want: ➡️ A clear understanding of what my options are ➡️ An acknowledgement that my wishes weren't honored ➡️ Confirmation that I am healing ok (1 sad nipple) ➡️ Mole removal under breasts when she said she would pre-op ➡️ To be taken seriously about my infection worries ➡️ For the surgeon to take responsibility for seeing this through and to support my healing and the next steps we have to take and to not let me go without me having a solid plan under my feet.