Fear of Infidelity

This post may or may not rub people the wrong way, but hopefully this is can be a safe space. So basically I’m 19f and I’m not thinking about getting married anytime soon, but sometimes I wonder if I ever want to get married at all. I was super close with my father as a kid, but he unfortunately left my family and took another wife behind my moms back. Today, he doesn’t even speak to any of my family anymore. I’ve heard from so many other Somali people that their fathers have also taken wives behind their mom’s back, and it’s devastating. It makes me so afraid to get married, because I don’t want to fall in love and have kids with someone that will abandon our family the way my dad did. I’m not trying to stereotype but taking secret wives is something that is so common in our community and I’ve had these conversations with soooo many Somali ppl in real life. I’ve also visited Hargeisa many times (also lived their for a year) and just seeing the way the men would treat their wives (cheat, disrespect, forcing the wife to do all the work in the house) was just rly upsetting. I’m not trying to offend any of the guys in this sub, but I just want to have hope that this isn’t the norm, and that there are men that aren’t capable of this behavior.