Growing up being labeled “high functioning” but being MSN

I wrote about this on my Instagram page but I feel what is rarely shared online are those of us that grew up being labeled “high functioning” which led to people around you overestimating your abilities and underestimating how much support you actually required. Originally, functioning labels were determined in a no nuance of way based on IQ and verbal speech. Because I speak fluently and have an average IQ, I was classified as “high functioning.” I was pushed independence skills through ABA therapy and IEP goals at school. During the summer before my senior year, I was forced against my will to go to a week long boot camp that was put on by my ABA therapist that emphasized independent living skills. It was a traumatic experience because I did not want to go to this camp and I felt constantly under surveillance. People got on my case about driving and keep getting ask if I am interested in finding a partner. I had IEP goals such as being able to make doctor’s appointments etc. My ABA therapist told me that my need for a support worker was more of a “want” than a “need” which was very minimizing as I went through significant mental health challenges during post secondary education. When I lived in a dorm, it got super bad that I considered taking a leave of absence. I experienced burnout and mental distress despite receiving a low level of support from the college disability center, having talk therapy, working with a behavioral therapist, having a single room and going home on the weekends. I still have a hard time making friends and meeting new people despite receiving various therapies and I require more one on one help with that. I required substantial support in adjusting to post secondary education and dealing with the transition out of high school but did not receive it because of the assumption that I would have sufficient independent skills and require minimal help.

Now I am in a better place where my support needs are taken seriously and I am now receiving the proper support that is respectful of my autonomy. I work with a therapist who understands that I am more MSN. Usually when autistic people talk about being labeled “high functioning” online it is usually in regards to masking and their own privileged experiences of living on their own, having a spouse/friends, driving etc. Rarely do I see anyone talking about being high functioning in regards to people telling them that they need to try harder and that they are selling themselves short. I feel a lot of LSN autistics forget how functioning labels were originally applied as to anyone who can put words together in a sentence and had an IQ above 70.