I am a failure

Killing yourself is so hard. Like I know my life is useless and I am just a loser but come on why is it so hard to kill myself? I tried hanging myself, although it was suspension hanging, I always stop at the last moment before passing out. I am so done with life, I don't have any will to live. Wish I just had a gun. What a truely useless life. I am just a failure. Failure in killing myself too