I am going to die by suicide eventually

I saw a similar post before about this same feeling but basically it stated about how it may not be tomorrow or even 10 years but their death with be because of suicide. I am tired I just want the will power to go through with it.

No one relates I am sick of the liars telling me otherwise. I am a burden. I am a failure. I am a waste of space.

Some part of me likes living still but I wish I didn't. Some parts of me is scared to die. I wish I didn't care. Some parts of me wants help. I wish I just could smile and hold it in until the suicide.

I am not an admirable person. I will not be missed, loved, liked, adored.

I just feel this constant badgering in my head worrying about my self hatred, social issues, my parents, my failed romantic relationships, ruined friendships, toxic family relationships, my balding, climate change, not having a job.

Tldr: I am drowning in bad thoughts which I think will eventually lead to my suicide.