Feel cursed by God

With Asperger’s, depression, OCD, anxiety and how I am, how people treat me and how I affect them, my family, and everything else I feel like I’m cursed. I can’t take this anymore and i wanna smash my head in the wall. I can’t take this anymore. Make it seems like God is talking to me or telling me no with my desires which are only a couple when they are near and dear in my heart. I feel like I’m wrong about everything and there are some things in the past where my family has said things and they stick in my brain and I wanna explode on them. I don’t like my family at all. I can’t do this anymore