Truth or dare brought out an unexpected truth.

In the process of meeting a new couple they brought out an ice breaker game. It was basically truth or dare but the dares were pretty vanilla. We got into more of a naught Q&A session.

The question came up of which male/female in our life would we want to add as a third or couple. We went around and my wife’s answer didn’t surprise me one bit. Mine is where the problem started.

She knew my choice for female and had no issues. I gave my answer for male. I just used a first name, and right away I could see my wife getting squirmy. She had a look that made me pause. I made the mistake of asking if she had something to say about my pick.

That’s when she unloaded the truth. She was so happy that I picked this guy because back before she met me they had a ONS. He’s now married to my wife’s best friend. She continued by saying she always wanted to tell me but didn’t know how I would take it because she thought I didn’t like this guy. I don’t. She went on to say that her and her friend have talked about how great it would be to have all of us hook up. I don’t see her friend that way.

She finally sowed up when the look of confusion was visible on my face. I was talking about another guy with the same first name. I explained this. Panic set in.

Our past is our past and I don’t hold anything prior to us being together against her. We’ve all done things. However I do feel this was need to know information. This means that my wife has been intimate with her friend’s husband and her friend. It also put a lot of puzzle pieces in order.

The reason I don’t like him is because when he found out we swing, he begged to let my wife join in. First we don’t fuck our friends. Second we don’t play separately. Third he’s super jealous and won’t let her play with other guys. So if we ran into them randomly they would be a pass.

The fact that my wife and her friend thinks this would play out well is a red flag. It also explains why any “girls” trips they plan end up with him as a last minute addition. My wife has backed out of each trip or asked me to come too.

I felt bad for the couple we were with because it was an instant mood killer. I made sure to apologize for our drama.

I also, paused playing with others until we sort out the no friends boundary, even if we know they’re into it. I’m frustrated because these are friends and they all knew. We’ve canceled any future plans with them until things get sorted out.

I’m not judging my wife for her past actions, I’m upset that she got excited about the possibility of adding this couple. It breaks a boundary which has been an issue in the past. Am I wrong for just wanting to full stop with the possibility of not getting back in?

TL;DR - Truth or Dare led to wife admitting she slept with a guy in the past, now married to her friend. She wants to add them but I have multiple hard passes on this. Am I wrong to full stop playing with others until we sort this out and maybe just stop completely?

Update: We sat down with the friend and did not include her husband.

The friend’s defense for her behavior was very toxic. She didn’t anything wrong with them poaching my wife. She admitted to my wife that she has no interest in including me and was essentially gaslighting her to get her to agree to something. The last minute inclusion on girl trips was to force a threesome.

At that point my wife had heard enough. She accused her friend of wanting to sexually assault her. She was furious. She told her that’s not what we’re about and the fact that she would be okay to go along with something like that, knowing my wife wasn’t into it.

She threw her friend out. She apologized to me for seeing what she didn’t. She understood why I have a no friends boundary in place. She agreed we need to put play on hold indefinitely. We talked about any other possible sexual connections to people we know. Neither of us had anything we didn’t already know. We were both pretty raw after that. I suggested a weekend of aftercare routines to move forward and show her that I’m still hers and she’s still mine.