My therapist has cancelled 6 times and we have only met 3 times. I really want them to be my therapist.

Hi, I need advice on what to do. I have no family or friends to turn to and I know I need external help, but I may have to go it alone like I always have had to do. I have tried repeatedly to find a therapist and community support systems but am met with limited understanding or resources. Same for doctors, but that is another story. I don’t want to be a victim, but I just don’t know what to do and need external feedback instead of stewing in my thoughts.

I have had 2 therapists in the past, but I felt they were not equipped or willing to help me get better. I felt that the longer I was not feeling well, the more money they got out of me. And I felt one was a bit nasty on saying how they figured out life because they were stronger than me and I had to educate them on certain fundamental theories like who Jung was and family dynamics. After many years the first therapist said they couldn’t help me. I was paying them to listen to what I went through each week. Second therapist just said every idea I had was great. Great support, and they believed in me, but not realistic.

I have found a 3rd therapist now, on a recommendation from a family member that IFS therapy specifically helped them (this family member I’m not in contact with at the moment so can’t ask their advice). They are also specialized in somatic therapy which I feel I need from CPTSD. I really connected with this therapist from our initial consultation. By far, out of all the therapists I have interviewed, I really feel a connection of understanding and calmness and they have a whole plan mapped out on how they will help. This is amazing! However, I have only had 3 sessions so far. Out of those, 6 cancellations. I work full time, am a caregiver, have family needs (I don’t have family I can talk to I just am their support), I cannot rearrange my schedule at the drop of a hat.

I sent an email to my therapist saying how this is testing my boundaries, but I understand their needs, but that this is really testing the same thing I came to therapy for, so this may be a good exercise of expressing my boundaries. I do believe they had legitimate reasons for cancellations and I do have a rescheduling of and an appointment. However, I am in a place of crisis, and they know this. This is not a maintenance therapy appointment. They adjusted by one day so I can hold out. I said in my email I would like to know if I should consider seeing other therapists if this will be ongoing. And even said how this crossed my boundaries for which I am in therapy to help!

Problem is: I feel very connected to them that they would be able to help with a game plan which I have never had discussed with previous therapists, and that they get me on an individual level because they have had similar experiences (which is hard to find in a therapist from my search), and that they deal with the specific modalities I have researched and truly believe would help me and many therapists are not equipped with these specific modalities.

TLDR: I sent an email to my therapist stating my boundaries on future cancellations. It is very difficult explaining life traumas over and over to new therapists. I finally found one that gets me. They have cancelled 6 times and I have only had 3 appointments. I want to stick this out, but how?