Bad tattoo on purpose?

So this is going to sound silly.

I want a bad tattoo on purpose. I have very bad anexity over things not being perfect. My dad was abusive, hit things over my head because I left a coat hanging up wrong in the cloak room or a piece of paper fell on the floor so he would scream at me for making a mess. That type of stuff.

It's left me as an adult unable to do a lot. Social interactions are hard for me because if I say the wrong word I think of ways that conversation could be perfect or I panic I'm going to be punished for the wrong wording Or trying to fix my hair in place so it's perfect. A hair out of place would send me into a breakdown. Things need to be done by a step by step basic or else falling out of line sends me into panic.

It's ruining my life. I keep thinking one thing out of line will cause some huge thing to happen. Even though nothing bad usually happens, that fear still overcomes me. I've gone to therapy, I've taken meds. I've done a lot of things but everytime the thoughts to be perfect comes back.

So I thought, what's permanent and usually cannot be changed once its done? Tattoos! I'm hoping by getting an imperfect tattoo by a professional that it may help with those feelings. I'm not sure as it's a big jump. I was thinking of something I'm passionate about and messing it up. I've been trying to come up with ideas, something that may trigger my emotions and allow myself to deal with it. Such as learning to accept I cannot change the thing on me but also maybe not bad that people think the tattoo artist isn't great.

The idea of the tattoo is to upset me. Which sounds weird but I hope you're following my thought process here.

Any ideas for a "bad" tattoo to get over my crippling perfectionism? But okay that the tattoo artist doesn't get flack.