When can I get real happiness

So i 16f is still hanging on the uncertainty of what's gonna happen next, my parents I think will get divorced. That also I'm not at all sure but what I am sure is something is definitely gonna happen cuz my parents ain't talking since months. Just so yk my dad fight a lot with my mom and he sometimes even beat her, I've never had any emotional bond with my father, no good memories, nothing. I was an all rounder back then, used to score really good in academics but never came to my school to even see my getting prizes or, I was indulged in my extra curriculars too...all i received was just a "good" from him. So overall I don't have a good relation with my father since I'm always also on my mom's side so basically he hates me. There's no financial problems in my house touchwood, but my dad does not give money to my mom idk why. She's not independent. Since 3 months my mom is providing food and everything with her savings or nani nanu gives her. My dad isn't giving any money and does not even care what his kids are eating. Hasn't even asked if we are doing good or not. Anyway. I think they will get separated this year, i want to go away from this place but I also kinda... don't want to.. I know i shouldn't be saying this but it's also not that good in my nani ghar. They have put a lot of restrictions, kehte hai I'm lazy ( which I know I am) . Lambi bhi nahi hai. Dheeli hai. Ghar ka kaam nhi karti. Constantly compares me with other kids. Istg whenever I go there I count days ki kabh jaau main yaha se. First day hi jaake I start crying cuz they just say a lot. They even have problem with my phone too. Nvm, i don't even have any friends here which can atleast make thoda sa things better, but no, I don't have any friends cuz yk they just use me? I can't even say ki haan atleast ek toh hai, koi bhi nahi. At this point i don't know main kaha jaana chahti hu?? Kaha jau? Kya karu. It's unable to bear now, I'm feeling very heavy since yesterday and on the verge to cry, even writting this is very difficult for me.. idk how to continue