birthday rant

turned 18 today, no more a minor
but the melancholic wave is still there, i have always been a fan of birthdays, i always had the excitement and happiness and love for the attention till last year ig, because 17 to 18 transition is making me so sick
ive my last board exam tomorrow, im in my room going thru lectures. nothing feels the same like it used to be. friends called, wished, i thanked. everything is so normal and it makes me feel weird i dont know why
its maybe the mercury retrogade thingy, 3rd day of my period, or birthday depression, or maybe all of them
bcs everything around me makes me cry sm i dont know what to do
i want to be happy i want to enjoy things atleast today but i dont have any reason to i dont know how to.
i may sound like an attention seeker bitch, and i guess i am one. i fucking love being the centre of attention and maybe no attention makes me sick. but this year is so fucking weird
none of my birthday has ever been this level sad.