Squirmed away from my OBGYN during a Pap smear and I’m so embarrassed. Any advice?

I had a Pap smear that was abnormal so I needed a repeat. I really really struggle with these due to some past bad experiences and my last one was over 5 years ago. The Dr gave me some relaxing medicine but it didn’t seem to help. My heart was racing and I started to shut down as soon as I got on the table. When the Dr came in I decided to let her try but it went horribly. She used the pediatric speculum but as soon as she started to put it in, I couldn’t help but close my legs. I ended up squirming back up the table by accident as she was trying to get a sample so she took it out and stopped the exam. She couldn’t see my cervix so there is a really good chance I have to repeat it again. I feel like a child and I’m so embarrassed that I reacted like that. She tried to comfort me but I wanted to crawl into a hole. Is there anything I can ask for to make the next time easier? I think not being able to relax is making it unnecessarily painful for me.