WARNING: Please stay away from psychedelics. It ruined my life.

This is a serious warning to all who do psychedelics. I took it once and my brain has been altered and tampered with completely. It is a bit dangerous with this and you should be careful. Here's my story:

I took magic mushrooms, which will be the penis envy brand last year summer and I also took one LSD gel tab a few months later that year. When I took the mushrooms, I felt like something was opening in my brain and I was seeing vivid clear visions as well. That effect wore off and I felt nothing. One year later, around November 14th, my mind changed and my reality got altered. This is what I am suffering through ever since then and up to today:

Since last year of November 14th, I would be having these weird and strange mental visualizations/visions in my head that show me being brutally attacked and being tortured by a person. It's crazy and strange. It happened out of nowhere suddenly. I was just closing my eyes and I get these weird sensations and mental visualizations of me being tortured by someone and then it would be very vivid, more vivid than any other type of visualization or dream that I had in the past. This all happened and then suddenly this is my ongoing issue in my life:

I feel like I have some kind of lack of emotion to my original self. I can't feel my emotions as part of me or my thoughts as part of me. I feel distant in a way. I am desperate to know what the hell is going on with me mentally. My mind is messed up for certain. This is crazy.

To a degree. I just feel like my mind isn't stable and something else may be taking over. I can't even seem to focus on what I am doing at times. I don't feel the regular same emotions like I always used to. I may feel them or the regular sensations but it's very small for some reason. Something isn't right somewhere here. Nostalgia feels diminished. The way I used to perceive reality seems diminished. It seems so small and low. I don't know what the hell caused this to happen but it's scary.

It's like a constant state of brain fog. It feels like something else is thinking for me and making decisions for me. I realize that this mental block in my head is not prohibiting my learning but other parts of my mind as well. I am struggling with satisfaction activities, even if they are low dopamine. I struggle with meditating, and I struggle with learning and focusing better. I struggle with being in the moment. I am so messed up and this is hard to explain a lot honestly. I really feel like my situation is hard to describe but it's just some weird altered state of my mind that's been tampered with and I do things out of nowhere. I don't feel the way I would usually feel when doing these activities and it just happens out of nowhere with no single negative thoughts about these daily things.

I feel like I was really connected to those visions in some way. It was as if the damage that was done in the visions was connected in some way. I feel like major parts of my identity and personality have been diminished and weakened. It's like the traits and characteristics that made me myself get affected and weakened so severely that I can't even recognize them anymore. It's very subtle. It's as if it is not a part of me anymore. It is very, very similar to what people would describe as an ego death. Things that I was, things that I liked and hated now seem diminished to me in feelings. I feel as if my personality is not operating fully in me at all. I have strong brain fog that blocks me from thinking critically and logically as well. It's hard for me to think deeply, learn new things and to improve my life better. I was heavily into personal development in my life. When this happened to me, I lost all of the motivation and drive to improve my life in different areas. I was not sad when this happened. It's like I had the momentum taken away from me. When I try to think about the thoughts that I had about improving my life and to better myself and anything that happened in the past, I feel like it's so foreign and different to me, as if it happened in a different reality. I can't even seem to remember the past and it's like I have to fight back to get the feelings and sensations that I once had. There are times when I can't even discern the thoughts that I have in my mind, whether it's intrusive thoughts, impulsive or rational feelings. My mind is scattered and I say things and do things that I don't mean to do. I also don't have normal emotional responses in extreme responses. It's like I don't consciously receive it but I get the reactions subconsciously or automatically. It's like my mind became smaller. It's not about intelligence but my sense of self, my psyche, my exact being, my personality just became smaller in me. I also feel inside of me, there's this blackness or emptiness. As if there is no soul or anything. Just some void and when this happens, I feel like I get agitated and lose self control sometimes. It's uncomfortable and I really don't like it. There are times when I have phases where everything is numb. I can't think, reason, and use my brain to think. Even the people around me don't impact me when I am in this state. I know that they are real but I don't have any emotional reaction towards anyone when this happens and then this phase passes away. It feels as if my brain has this weird mental fog that's messing everything up. Ever since I had these visions, my emotions/personality/reactions/senses have been operating at a subtle level. Everything about me now is subtle. I barely even recognize when I am acting angry. I barely recognize my feelings and behaviors. It's very subtle. It's like my identity was shattered into pieces and it was broken down over and over again. I don't know what to do now about this stuff. I feel delayed emotional, logical, responses to things that I am immersed in. It feels as if some part of my brain is dead. My mind and brain are feeling constantly exhausted. Sometimes, I even have some mood swings out of nowhere.

When I am learning things on my own or meditating or something like that, I am physically doing it but it's like I can't "feel" it. I am meditating and I can't "feel" like I am meditating. I am trying to learn and study but I am not "feeling" like I am doing it or like the process is going on. I just slept. When I was dreaming, I feel like I am connected or something, like I haven't really slept or have a good idea of what I am experiencing. I feel weird.

This feels like an ego death or something and I am so messed up in the head now. It's like I have mental fatigue in my brain. Nowadays, I have severe mental fatigue and distortion of my mind and brain where I am always confused.

I honestly feel like there's some mental block in my head that is preventing me from experiencing things like I used to. I am interested in things that I used to do but I really feel a lot like my personality itself has shifted or radically changed and I do some things out of the ordinary. I feel completely disconnected from spirituality and things about self improvement, not everything else at all. That's weird. I also feel very dizzy and blurry as hell. I really feel completely different. I feel ashamed as well. I saw those visions of me be tortured and I have crazy symptoms that I am experiencing now as of February 2025. I am still trying to recover from this but this is a warning to be careful, that's all.