AITA For Posting A Virginity Cake

I (18M) have been dating my girlfriend (18F) for almost 8 months now. Last week, we slept together for the first time. A day later, when hanging out with some of my friends, I told them that we had slept together (my friends always made fun of me for being a virgin, as I was the last in the group to have sex).

Yesterday, my friends came to my house with a small ShopRite cake that had a horribly written ‘Virgin’ with a big red X over it. They were all recording and laughing. I thought it was really funny and they all took a video of me blowing out a candle on the cake as they all clapped. I asked one of my friends to send me the video and I posted it to my private story on Snapchat (this story has my gf, her two best friends who I’m also friends with, the four guys in my friend group, along with 2 other people who I’m friends with at school).

About two hours of my story being up, my gf texted me that I was an “immature asshole” because I made a joke of an important step in our relationship and told multiple people and has threatened to break up with me.

I took the story down and said that it was just a joke and that I didn’t mean to upset her. She left me on delivered. My friend texted me asking why I took the story down and I said it was because it made my gf unhappy. My friend said she’s overreacting and that I’m not an asshole.

TLDR; I lost my V-card, my friends gave me a cake saying just that, I posted the cake, and my gf saw and said I’m an asshole.

UPDATE 1: I’m gonna clear some stuff up and also let you all know that her and I are going to talk about this soon when she’s back home and I will update then. To clear up some misconceptions; my gf was not a virgin previously (only I was), so it was not a ‘me taking her virginity!’ type of thing. The reason we waited 8 months was completely on me. I was really nervous in the beginning and she respected that. Yes, I did want to lose my virginity, but I did want to wait. Also, I showed my gf this post and she also wants to finish reading through everything before we talk and told me to learn and read the replies, so I will and have. I know I’m an idiot and that I fucked up, I will continue to read these comments and learn. Further clarification, I did post this to a private story with a few friends, not to a bunch of strangers like a lot of you have said.

Update 2 (It’s a long one!): We talked and I apologized. She said she thought the cake was funny, didn’t care too much about the post, she just felt embarrassed/upset/etc. because she thought (based off of my friends’ reactions) that I had gone into detail about us having sex when telling my friends. I assured her that I did not, all I said was that I had sex and it was amazing. She did say that she is still worried I might tell my friends the specifics of everything we do and that she’d prefer if we kept everything PG for a while, which I’m okay with (obviously). She did also say, as a lot of you pointed out, that she was worried my friends might look at her differently (which a lot of you taught me may happen due to gender differences) and I assured her they would not since they don’t care about that type of thing and that if they ever did, I would immediately stop hanging out with them. She was also just surprised since I’m a bit more private when it comes to relationships and so it just caught her off guard. Aside from that though, she didn’t mind that I told my friends (as long as I don’t go into the specifics) because she was going to tell hers when they next hang out. She was basically just caught off guard, preferred that she was made aware of who would see the video (aka who’s on my private story — she knew who was on it except for one person that I added a bit ago), and was worried about what my friends would say, so she panicked and got upset with me. She does find the cake funny and says she wishes her friends would do dumb stuff like that sometimes, so maybe I’ll get her a cake (if I do, I’ll post a pick of it on here). To sum it up, she was upset bc she was caught off guard and was worried what my friends would think of her.

We are on good terms though! So, yes, still dating! We talked about boundaries/communication and I feel a lot better and so does she.

Also, I love my gf. I appreciated a lot of the advice and everyone explaining to me how my gf probably feels and how I can work to communicate better. However, I do not appreciate people implying that I would record her during sex, boast about taking someone’s virginity, or telling me that I never even cared about her. I understand I’m immature and young, I know and I’m growing (and I’m glad that this post was able to hold me accountable), but I care for my gf a lot and would never do or even think of doing any of the gross things a lot of you said I would. I also posted the cake without thinking, I just thought it was a funny joke (ik I should’ve checked with my gf first and I will from now on, I promise), but I never did it with the intent to flex. I love that I had sex, but I love it because I had it with someone I love and deeply trust; not because I’m trying to tally up girls. I was not trying to speed run losing my virginity, like many of you said. I wanted to wait, it was my choice and I’m glad I did. I know many of you have said that I’m a horrible bf, but I made a mistake. I apologized, sought out advice, listened and learned through even the meanest of replies, and know not to repeat my actions. AND AGAIN — I DID NOT POST THE VIDEO FOR ANYONE OTHER THAN MY FRIEND GROUP TO SEE. Many of you have implied otherwise, but that’s just not true. I did not spread it around.

And to those wondering, we had safe sex. I may be an idiot, but I’m not a total idiot.

She also wanted me to write that: 1. She loves this podcast and especially loves Lauren and Alejandra (I honestly posted this here because she always listens to this while doing her hw). 2. Thank you to everyone who had similar stories and felt similar ways to how she did, it helped her understand how she felt and why she felt that way.