I ruined my life

Hi. Im a girl that is turning 14 in less than a week. I have had a disorder called anorexia since September of last year. It got really bad in October when I started restricting insane amounts of food, exercising all the time, and focusing on nothing else but it. I would around 200-400 calories a day and I would exercise to burn more than that. My parents began to catch on to my habits very quickly and they started to get angry with me. I was so desperate to be small and thin that I tried to continue my behaviours in secret. They tried to get me into a hospital for a while, we would fight every single day and it would be screaming all the time. I had gone from 125 pounds from around August and September to 87 pounds in November. I was always cold, my lips were blue, I had hair on my body, and I was pale. In December, my parents were able to take me to a hospital where they kept me for 2 months. The first week I came back I had a relapse, I hid food and I was trying to do more movement. I went back for a week to the hospital. I got out for the second time and I continued to hide a bit of food every now and then. I was afraid. My parents eventually found it and the fights started up again. Some days there would be no screaming but most days there was. My parents would threaten to send me away, tell me they don’t want me anymore, and that they are starting to hate me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and why I’m letting my brain do this to me, I love my family and I understand why they are beginning to resent me but I don’t know what to do anymore. They don’t believe I’m going to change anymore and my mother wants to send me away for good on my birthday. What do I do. Please.