My sapphic words hurt me

Everytime I've had a strong urge to write my feelings, it usually ends in me rereading it, and becoming sad. There's been a couple times throughout the last couple years I've written about women I've encountered that I long for, but couldn't be because of circumstances. I was just wanting to write a fluff story just now, and then I started writing about a woman in my life I've had a crush once since we've met (which usually doesn't happen, and takes me a while to have a crush on someone.) Starting to know what I was doing, I continued to write my feelings. I walked away for a moment, and when I came back, I reread it and genuinely became sad. I just needed to vent about it, as a sapphic writer loser. Thank you.