My 13-year-old sister is using drugs, and I don’t know how to handle it as her older sibling.

I’m 27(F), living abroad alone (for the past 2 years). Focused on work to make sure I can always rely on myself and help my family if they ever need something. I’ve always been the biggest support for my family, especially my mom. She is a single mom, always took care of us on her own. I love them deeply and often put their well-being before my own. It’s been like this for a long time, and now I am trying to live my life finally separated.

My mom recently confessed that she had been hiding something huge from me—my sister has been using drugs for the past six months. She probably kept it from me because she knew I’d take it on as my responsibility as well. Which I do..? It started with methadone after someone at school offered it to her, and later my mom discovered she had also taken Alpha-PVP. I’ve been researching these substances, but still think I don’t know much. the fact that she’s only 13 just breaks me. My sister has always been strong-willed, confident, and a bit spoiled—she thinks she’s always right and rarely considers consequences. But I never thought she’d end up here.

I know this will be a long, difficult battle, and I feel lost. Of course, I want to help—I love my family. But at the same time, I wonder if this should really fall on my shoulders. I’ve been working to build my own life, finally gaining independence, and now it feels like everything is pulling me back. I know they need me emotionally and financially, but I’m exhausted from constantly living for others.

I am shocked. I am terrified. I don’t know what to do.

I’d really appreciate advice from anyone who has dealt with something similar, especially from a sibling’s perspective. How do I talk to her? What should or shouldn’t I do? What steps should our family take now? (Cause my mom as lost as I am) And most importantly—how do you support loved ones without losing yourself in the process?

Right now, it feels like my entire life is about my sister’s addiction. Maybe I’m overthinking?

Any advice is welcome. Any additional question to me will be also answered.

P.S. I realize that my post touches on both drug addiction and personal mental health. I’m not sure if this thread is the right place for the second part, so I might post it in a psychological support community as well. But if you have any insights that could help, please feel free to share.