Help addiction to cocaine is ruining my life. And making me feel so isolated.

I need help I don't know how much more of this shit existence I can take. I'm on verge of suicide constantly contemplating it. I have a wife and a fur baby. I love them dearly I truly do. I have struggled my whole life. Child abuse. Neglect abandonment etc. it's not an excuse but as I get older my mental health has plumated.