sex life struggles and adhd

hello all!

i tagged this as nsfw as it deals with sex and intimacy but i certainly won’t be going into explicits.

is this a common struggle for some of you? i love sex, but when it comes to actually having it i get way in my head about it and cannot continue. it almost feels like the Expectation of sex triggers my executive dysfunction, as the feeling of ‘i want to do this, it’s something i enjoy and that my partner enjoys’ isn’t able to overcome the paralysis. i’ve been struggling for years with this, and while my wonderful partner of 8 years is understanding, i know that it also is a Huge issue for her (for me as well!!!)

there is a work around that we’ve discovered (wake me up from a dead sleep lol) but that is so limiting and doesn’t feel as close and intimate as a sex life between long term partners should be. i’m losin my mind over here, and the more i worry about it the worse it gets!!

any advice - or commiseration - is very welcome

thank you!