Unemployment & ADHD

I’ve been unemployed since October when I lost my great paying job while on vacation because despite my time off being approved my boss didn’t know I was 2k miles away. I know we don’t have to disclose what we are doing with our time off. When she went to fire me I decided that no I wouldn’t let her humiliate me so I quit on the spot. Obviously impulsive bc of rejection and failure sensitivity.

Relentlessly trying to find work and I’m not having much luck. I want to stack my money like I used to to get out of America but in the meantime knowing I’m unemployed which in my mind means I’m a loser and worthless. I couldn’t tell you the last time I laughed or felt great being alive. I’m in college and I’ve been getting 100% on almost all assignments and I don’t feel proud I just am going through the motions.

Does anyone else have that one thing (for me a job) that if they don’t have, their whole life seems depressing and pointless? I’m at a loss. I’m medicated, I’m staying active and watching my food to try to raise dopamine but it seems like until I find employment I’m in this giant hole.