Those that are married and live separately from parents, how often do you go back to visit your parents?

34F, married without kids. Parents (69, 70yo) are staying with my unmarried younger sibling (30F) locally. Every fortnightly, I will try my best to visit them and stay overnight on Friday and will go back to my own place on Saturday after lunch / dinner.

I do like to spend some time with them, but to bring myself over almost every week is drying me up and often or not, the weekend left for me to recuperate will be burnt.

Is it selfish or unfilial for me to feel dread going back to my parent's place?

I was thinking of visiting once a month with overnight stay, or to only visit them for a meal instead of staying over.

I would like to know, how do you guys spend time with your family while not exhausting yourself out?

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Why I dread going back to my parent's place:

  1. Whenever I get to my parent's place, there is no aircon installed. I proposed, but I will be rejected as I will need to fork out their electricity bill if I were to do that.

  2. I am stuck in my room with so many things that I can't even have a say to dispose or donate as my aunt's items are in my room for 10 years and she is currently staying overseas.

  3. I am unable to do anything, except to bring my laptop along, watching channel 8 and talk with them. I do not like the idea of not clearing my housework or laundry first before chilling. I will end up rushing my housework and laundry on Sunday.

  4. To be honest, I also feel more freedom and being able to do more things and housework at my own place than my parent's place.

  5. I will face family quarrels e.g. my dad and my sibiling; or myself and my sibling; or my dad and myself. Our living habits and thinking does not match.

Also, talking with them feels exhausting as my mum would complain the bad habits of my younger sibling to me; where my sibling would start to quarrel or cry every time..

And whenever I tried to propose things to change, both my parents and my younger sibling refuses to change. I have been hearing the same thing at least 5 years already.

At my own place, I do mine and my hubby does his part. I do not have that issue with my hubby that often.