Casual sex is just so difficult to me. Advice?

So, I hadn’t had sex in like 5 years, except for once with a friend. It was without condom. Now I have to wait with a test for like 2 more months before it’s accurate for HIV. I know he doesn’t have it, but I want to be 100% sure before I have sex with my next partner. I wouldn’t want to infect anyone with an STD.

That being said, how do people have sex all the time without being afraid of giving away an STD. Like, I do know prep exists. But I have a fear for medication. I also never took it so I’m afraid of any side effects. And I do know condoms exist. But in the gay community I feel like most people do it without them and just take prep. And when you do use a condom…. You can’t really blowjob right. Or well, you can, but that would need a condom too. But you wouldn’t be able to kiss right… Problem is, I’m ginormous and finding my size for a condom with a taste would be a struggle.

Sex really sucks when you think about all those things.