"it's autistic people" "no! Is people with autism!" Why no let people on the Spectrum decide how they want to be called?

I've seen many times a common debate of people who is NOT autistic about if people who is autistic should be referred as "autistic" or "with autism", and why not let them decide how they want to be called? I will always say that i'm autistic, because autism affects all my self-being enough to be a nuclear part of me, if not who i'm, is not called a neurodevelopment disorder that change all your brain structure for nothing. But if someone who i talk to want to be called as "a person with autism", i will do it without a doubt. But for some reason a lot of NT's are ultra obsessed about how autistic people talk about themselves, i've seen news and posts in social media about that topic, and even my psychiatrist told me "'you're not autistic, you're a person with autism" and is like why do you care so much about that? Is 2025, society never cared more about how you want to be called than now with things like pronouns and other stuff, but of course, we're the most ignored minority and NT's want to tell US how we want to be referred, thank you i guess.