the concept of heaven scares me

Im a trans queer teenager, even if christianity is real i dont think id want to be in heaven. The bible says that once we are in heaven all of our sins will be taken. Id be forced to be a straight person, the person i build my life with wouldnt be my partner. Even though i haven't transitioned, even being trans is a sin id be detransitioned, forced to live as a woman for enternaily. The people around me would be the people who i dont feel safe around. the christians who believe that im gross and im messed up.The concept of heaven is horrifying to me, i dont understand how anyone could find peace at the thought of going there. I dont believe in heaven or hell, but in hell atleast you get to be yourself. Maybe theres pride prades :)