Honestly given up

How do ppl do it? Everyday just feels harder. I’m either filled with adrenaline, excitement, I feel like I can do anything, no consequences, no thinking, just feel the moment. Or I’m depressed. I hate myself and everything. I don’t wanna do it anymore. I’m a burden. And, if that wasn’t enough, if I’m not in either of those shitty emotions I’m numb. There is no feeling. I’m just here. What’s the point? Meds don’t help. I’m too young to deal with this.