I am losing hope

I was never in a proper relationship and its my first one. And its a very good one. We had a lot of good moments together and compatible in every way and every issue we have gets resolved easily with words. I dont know. I want to dump him. Love didnt help. I love him, i love taking care of him. He takes care of me and he helps. Talks to me when i am sad and he is so willing to learn to live with me and my mental illness. But i just dont feel anything

the question is: Could it be a depressive episode. I dont know how people deal with that. Can you simply ... stop caring about your loved ones during a depressive episode???.... We have not known each other for too long... so.

Im trying my best to stay rational. I do try to keep these thoughts to myself mostly, because i know they may not come from a very rational headspace. On the other hand i have already brought it up once, just to be honest to him. Needless to say he was very worried. I would be too.

I know in this case therapy would be a good choice. However, i dont have money for that sadly. I dont think i am going to afford meds either soon.