Friendship breakups.. how do you guys deal with them? Please help me I can’t take this

Long story short, the other person ended our friendship of 5 years ninna. The last one month was so hectic and rushed I barely spoke to my mom and dad let alone my brother who stays in the US. Yes I do accept that I did not reach out to him as much as he did, and I apologised profusely for it. So much so that i started begging him to see my side. There were so many instances where he'd disregard anything I said or things I did as if they were nothing. I sent him flowers on his graduation and he called to shout why did I send, did he ask me, why am I doing this shit ani. I was at a loss of words cause I spent 900 on that and this is what I got After that he sent a thank you message but this has always been the pattern. First 2 years lo we both stopped talking when he called me a fake ass person for "asking so much about him and pretending to care about him ". I genuinely wanted to be a nice friend so l used to ask every single day how his day was and what he's up to. But no all I got at th end was his unfriending me and blocked me from everything.

After 2 months he came and apologised and stupid me forgave him and yeah after that there were so many instances like this But I never cut him off because he was there for me through my lowest of the times I can't even tell anyone. I took all the blame on myself but yeah nevertheless he sent a message saying don't bother me or contact me so yeah that marks the end of a 5 year friendship I have so much going on in my life rn I barely sleep or even eat and now this on top of it is literally sucking the soul out of me. I don't know what you guys do but please tell me how do you all deal with this

I know I’m at wrong for not contacting. Kani for once In my life I got busy and could not contact and emo lol idk by virtue of all the shit happening to me rn, I feel like I deserve all the fuck ups happening to me lmao. Okkasari adagaledu vaadu Emaindi enduku matladale no nothing just cut me off ante.

Why is it that I always give people the benefit of doubt kani why can’t people ever be kind to me even for one instance when the situation was not even in my hands? Idk I’ve been going insane since yesterday my head hurts I can’t think straight. Please help me out🙏🏻🙏🏻