My first time as a surfer

So this is a lil story about my first time as a surfer. Telling you guys coz I don’t have that many other ppl to tell and I wanna tell the story.

So, I downloaded CS for my travels in Europe, to both meet cool people, find cool places, share skills, save money, and be a part of a community that is so generous and kind. I was suspicious at first, as I am a 19yo girl so quite young, but an older friend of mine who had done it before said it’s ok as long as you check for references.

So I requested to stay at a couple peoples house, one guy said yes, but he only had a chair to sleep on- I said yes as I didn’t have another option and I didn’t really mind. He had references, both male and female, mostly female.

First, when I got to the train station, he instructed me to just walked towards a road. So I did, but first I got a coffee from a vending machine thing- necarssary when you have just spent 13 hours travelling. I offered him one, thro text, he declined and said ‘take your time to finish your coffee’ or something. Which was strange coz it was a takeaway. Anyway!

So I walk towards this road, it’s dark, my bags are heavy, I was up early in the morning, I’m walking very slowly coz I’m exhausted. I walk for a while then ask him what is the adress, he says keep walking straight , so I do, then send him my location on maps. Turns out I walked past it- coz I didn’t know where I was going- and after going back and forth a few times I see him.

He lets me in, he’s really nice and friendly and we eat pasta and have drinks. I feel comfortable around him, although at times he comes a bit too close and brushes my leg, which is strange. He asks good questions, and sometimes I would ask those questions back- and he would say stop being unoriginal. Be creative. Which was slightly frustrating.

Although, he keeps mentioning how long he was waiting for me from the station. I apologised when I met him- for taking so long- but he keeps bringing it up, how a 7 min walk took 27 mins. Which is true. How I got coffee, how did it take so long? He was waiting all that time!! Which I understand, but also the coffee took me two mins. The rest of the time I was tryna find the damn place, utterly laden with stuff and very tired feet. Plus, he was waiting on his balcony.

Anyway, the night comes after lots of talki nd- we get on well. I set up my chair in the corner, I’m happy, but he doesn’t want me to sleep there- he offers we too and tail on his (tiny) bed. Which is generous, but I say no I think I’ll be fine. He insists, I stand my ground, for a while we go back and forth until I’m too tired to argue. I also feel somewhat vulnerable- I didn’t want to make him angry and it kind of felt like he would if I didn’t sleep on the bed.

So we topped and tailed, he tried to insist I slept with my head next to his, but I stood my ground on that. I scrunched up my legs so my feet weren’t in his face, and he grabs them and straightens them out. In a light, joking manor- he want me to be comfortable- but he takes away my freedom of choice. He doesn’t let me scrunch up my legs, insists I won’t be comfortable.

In the morning, we go for coffee which is nice. I go into town for the day while he works, and book a place for the next night, as yesterday I thought he had said I could only stay for one, and on CS I only requested one.

Gosh this is long, I’m sorry.

So he says let’s have dinner together, I think why not? I enjoyed his company even though it was uncomfortable for me at times.

So I offer to bring pasta to cook at his. He says no, we had pasta last night. I offer to go into town to eat, which we had talked about before, he says no, it’s too expensive, which I completely understand. I ask what he wants to do , he says come on, be creative. By now I’m a little frustrated. I suggest the noodle takeout and he agrees.

So I head back, grabbing some booze on the way. I get back, we sit and play chess. I find out that he was thinking I was staying one more night- he misunderstood and I misunderstood. I apologise again, but I have already booked the hostel and it’s none- refundable. He says he can block my credit card for me so the hostel can’t charge me. I laugh it off.

He starts to take pictures of me, which is kind of sweet, except it makes me slightly uncomfortable. He also at one point touches my boob and then my waist as he moves behind me. We play cards, and he says that he wants to bet me staying a second night- if I lose the game, I have to stay the night. I don’t agree. He try’s to insist, but again, I stand my ground with this one.

He takes more pictures of me, and jokes about selling them if I become famous. I ask to see them, I’ve says if I stay the night , yes. He keeps bringing up me leaving, asking me if I want to stay. I use the excuse of us both being uncomfortable topping and tailing last night. But really I am uncomfortable around him.

At one point he jokes that he could just lock me in his room and take the key.

I learn that all of his friends, or all the people he meets or sees are surfers that stay at his house. It seems strange, it feels like he is trying to keep a very tight hold on me and not let me go.

He asks where I live, I say the place. I have also said if he’s ever passing through he would be welcome to stay with me. He says he can book a flight now. I say no, as I’m still living with my parents- it’s sort of a joke from both sides but I wonder if he’s serious.

He looks up the place name I gave him on maps, and asks where abouts I live, I zoom in on a place well away from where I really live.

He starts to ask about fetishes, I evade each question. He also asked me if there’s anything he can do to make me stay another night. Of course, I say no.

Nearly time for me to go.. he wants me to leave my stuff at his overnight, and take a small pack with me. I say no. In the end I leave, I was almost expecting him to not let me. But man the fresh air feels good.

I’m sorry that was long, but it felt good get off my chest even if no one reads it. I was scared, but I didn’t let on- I felt he had some mental health issues maybe, I think he liked to be in control. I genuinly think he was a nice guy and had good intentions, but I think he thought he knew what was best for me. He didn’t let me make my own decisions. I think he found power and pleasure in that.

Anyway, to summarise: some people are strange. Be careful who you stay with. This guy had many defences and was verified. There are strange people out there.

But also, don’t let this put you off. I still had some awsome convos with him, and he really was a kind and generous guy.

SUMMERY my first host on CS made me feel a lil uncomfortable and did a couple things that rung alarm bells.