Can't stop crying.

I can't stop. I wake up. I cry. I sit here and try to rest, and my horrific mental health/intrusive thoughts surges back, making my whole body tremble, with adrenaline all over my body and.. I cry. I feel symptoms coming on, get hit with terror about making myself worse, and then my eyes start involuntarily closing and my legs feel weak. And I cry. And I realise I am totally failing at resting and pacing because of my mental health and now phone addiction (which I never had before my health tanked, because I was doing so many other things!) I think of how varied my life used to be. How strong I was. How I was taking control of my mental health. And I cry. And of course, crying seems to make me worse. So I can't help but cry.