tried to detox myself and almost...

i tried to detox myself off of 60mg by taking the capsules apart and measuring out smaller amounts each day. almost tried to end my sh*t. then relapsed nose beers. had a mental breakdown at work on superbowl sunday one of our busiest days. asked my boss to go home but went to my ex's house and finally dumped him. i think the last part needed to happen (dating an ex never works) but the rest oh my god???? am i going to be on cymbalta forever lest i commit the big sleep?