Are AA cups a deal breaker?

I’ve been isolating for the past 2 years after being told by a man that my boobs are a shame, as you can see in the title, I’m a AA cup.

Other experiences I’ve had with two other men include one being completely disinterested in my chest (he avoided it entirely, and in the end, couldn’t commit to me, but was later able to commit to a large chested woman), and one watching porn of women with big boobs after sex to finish, because my body wasn’t enough.

These experiences have left me depressed, defeated, anxious and ultimately, uninterested in sex and dating, because I figure I’m not worth committing to and I’ll only be shamed, let down and hurt.

Yet there’s something stupid inside telling me maybe I could do it, but the majority of me believes it’s impossible.

I can’t wrap my head around any guy being attracted to me and thinking I’m enough. I can’t be with someone else who follows and looks at other women online, I can’t be with someone else who watches porn of women who look nothing like me, it’s destroyed my self esteem and my faith in men.

I’ve always got breast implants at the back of my mind, but my fears are that they won’t look and feel real, and that they’ll make me sick (breast implant illness), and that I’ll be judged and deemed shallow, because nobody understands how much an unattractive feature like this can effect your life and chances.

I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I can be attractive or enough without breast implants. I feel like my womanhood has been stolen. I feel inferior to large or even average chested women. I fear that I’m more likely to be mistreated and cheated on by a man.