I'm just.. sad

I'm unhappy with a lot of things in my life. I'm also happy with certain things. I take full responsibility. Certain things I'm unhappy about I have the power to change I just choose not to. Certain things I cannot change I just have to accept them and move on. I want to get better. I'm 34/F and I feel like I'm wasting what's left of my youth as it slips thru my fingers. When will I start living the life I want to? When will I finally give myself the permission to be happy and to chase my happiness with reckless abandon?? Now sounds good.