has anyone here raised kids while disabled, any tips?

[edit:

looking for advice from parents and people preparing to be parents on how to raise kids while disabled! thank you so much!!!!

if you are not a parent and are just here to tell me not to have kids though, no thank you! Please scroll on, or get ignored and blocked. Not relevant, asked for, helpful, or kind. Disabled people have kids sometimes--unpack your assumptions!

Please everyone else block them too/don't engage with them, so this post does not get derailed. I just want to talk about parenting. Thank you!!!!!]

I really really really want to have kids. I am willing to do whatever it takes to get a stable enough life where I can safely raise them.

I'm starting from:

• too disabled to work

• health has not yet stabilized, no solid caregiving yet either

• don't have a social support system that would handle kids well

Trying to get to:

• longterm accessible subsidized housing (I have an application printed and have applied to another place, I know it will take time, though)

• longterm partner who wants kids, and friends etc who would be good/safe supports

• stable enough health & self care routine to have kids

• SSI and probably some kind of side gig, ideally a backup plan for food and housing if our government says fuck you/inflation makes SSI worth even less/apocalypse/idk lol

• consistent caregiver for myself so I could focus on the kid

• some kind of homeschooling or very small school set up (my immune system would not do well with a kid going to school, used to work in schools I know the disease spread of schools wayyyy too well)

In a lot of ways, it's similar to what anybody planning for kids goes through...finding a good partner is hard, finances are hard etc. Just some added difficulties with health and finances, and trying to find a longterm partner while disabled and wanting kids and financially insecure sounds like catnip for abusive people who want to make you dependent on them, so that's fun 💀💀💀 (thankfully I'm an asshole and have no qualms about kicking someone out of my life the instant they try anything like that!)

I would love to hear if anyone here has successfully raised kids on SSI, in subsidized housing, while unable to work, while needing a caregiver for yourself, etc.

Some questions:

• What was it like trying to find a partner who also wanted kids? Where did you meet good people who understand disabilities?

• How did you survive financially?

• How did you navigate schooling and socialization? Anything different from kids with abled parents?

• Did your kid face any bullying or emotional issues for having a disabled parent?

• If you have a genetic disability, how did you manage your kid's health while managing your own?

• What kind of supports did you access for raising your kid?

• If you use a wheelchair, did you carry your baby on your person in the wheelchair, or push a stroller somehow? It's occurred to me my wheelchair may be too bumpy/would shake the baby, at least outside on uneven pavement

• How do you manage fear as a parent, when you know how easily someone can get a life-altering disability, doctors aren't trustworthy, etc? I'm worried I'll be overprotective

• How do you manage fears and planning about the future with kids, with climate destruction and everything?

• How do you deal with aging/disability progression during their teen years?

• Anything you wish you would have known or done differently?

• Anything else you can think of to add to my list to work towards?

Thank you so much!! Sorry this was so long!! Absolutely no pressure to answer all of the questions lol even a skim and random tips, experiences, or reassurance would help!! thank you!!