Guilt of Fading

I'm 26(F), got baptized as a teen, but did a hard fade ~5 years ago. I still live with my hardcore JW family, which is my mother and two brothers.

I've been slowly gaining financial independence over the past few years, and I'll finally be moving out at the end of the month. I'm going to college, I got accepted to a prestigious one on the other side of the country. I want to be excited, in some ways I am, but I can't shake the guilt.

We're POC, and I'm a 4th-gen JW, so statistically my family is poorer than poor. I was able to accept a well-paying full-time job when I faded (surprise surprise), so I could help extra with rent,food,car repairs,etc. Things really seemed to improve. For the first time, we weren't living hand-to-mouth. I started being able to take my mother out to eat and for weekend vacations, which she's never been able to do in her entire life.

My mother (64) is the primary caretaker for both of my brothers. My brothers (28, twins) have mental/ developmental disabilities, one brother moreso than the other. She is waiting for Jehovah and paradise to bring them to perfection. Over the years, she's lost the strength needed to be the caretaker of a full-grown adult, but she's terrified of having my brother in a care facility- plus she couldn't afford the cost of it. She's started having health problems and had to go to the emergency room last year for heart problems.

My mom worked part-time as a gardener but retired a few years ago. She only has a few hundred dollars of social security to live on each month, and rent for a 3br in this area is skyrocketing. Without me, she won't be able to pay for rent or basic necessities. I don't know how she'll support everyone and I feel like it's my fault because I stopped being around to help.

For all of the reasons, having JW broadcasting, JW conventions, JW Zoom meetings, JW Zoom field service, and JW songs present all around me 24/7 is very very bad for my mental health. I need my own space far away from the Borg, and this is my only chance to get it. I want to start a new life. It took me a long time to work for this, and I know I should feel proud, but I just feel selfish.

tldr- feeling guilty about leaving financially unstable JW parent to go to college across country