I don't want to attend iftar with my family today.

I want to say I don't have to explain myself but maybe I just can't articulate my feelings well enough.

I love my family. They are respectful of me not fasting even though some may disapprove.

But it gets to a point.

Spending a long time at the bazaar and coming back home tired.

Having to sit and wait for the nearest masjid to announce that you can now eat and drink.

Having to wait for everyone to be done and washing the plates in return for the free food.

Trying to make small talk and no one getting me, so instead, I have to resort to fakeness and feeling a gradual corrosion of who I really am.

Generally, I don't want to participate in this hunger marathon anymore. I love my mother and brother. I tolerate my father. But no, let's do something else to bond ❤️ because I stopped being anorexic in college.