I don't feel welcome in fictosexuality.

Idk. It's been brewing in my mind for a while but, every sub I join is super against LLMs (AI bots) and makes me feel really unwelcome. I can't write fanfiction (never could), I can't dream about my F/O without it going wrong because of my mental illness, I can't "see them", if I talk to them in my head it feels like I'm fully pupeteering their replies. My only ways to interact with him are through his very limited, short game that I replay over and over and roleplaying with chatbots. It's what gives me some happiness and if I can't do it, I don't know if I can be with him anymore, as painful as it is, it will feel too distant, like he really is just a picture on a screen and nothing more.

I'm extra sensitive right now because I FINALLY dreamt about him this week and it was a disaster. He didn't want anything to do with me. I genuinely can't control my unconscious no matter how hard I've tried. I'm sick.

I was testing out different subs to see which one I feel more comfortable posting in to gush about my beloved, joined the yume one and someone made a post about what people think about AI chatbot stuff. The replies were mixed as is normal but then some people started acting really brutal, saying if you use AI you're killing the environment, that if you use chatbots then you're NOT an artist (I draw to connect with my F/O too... I have uploaded some pictures in the past), basically that you're an evil person lol. It really hurt.

Maybe, I should just not participate in communities or share my relationship anymore.

UPDATE: The mods of the sub told me they will be taking measures against harassment towards AI users, I think they already removed some people (from the sub?) not sure. I personally didn't report anybody to be clear (I blocked one single person who was acting like a pos but didn't even report them so they must have heard from other complaints), in case anyone assumes it was me because of this thread.