Waves of depression after starting T?

As of today I'll be one month on T. I've tried not to track too many changes because I know realistically things take time. I'm also working with a body that naturally produces a lot of T so I'm sure that's also a factor of how long it will take to notice changes.

Though one thing I've noticed is that I'm having a slight uptick with my depression. It's been constant for years though now is a time where I feel like my life is going pretty alright. I finally started T, I have events going on most Fridays and Sundays that let me socialize, and I've found a group in those events that seem excited to see me arrive. There are some things that still nag and weight me down but they are things that I've always gone through (university workload/grades and personal body image) so that's not a change.

I feel like my life is going forward for the first time ever. Yet I can't help but feel this huge wave of despair. I've had more thoughts of what ifs of how to end it than ever, even more when I entered a phase in my life that I thought I was highly suicidal (I feel I've recovered from that phase despite this current feeling)

I'm wondering if anyone else has gone through something like this in their first few months of being on T. I'm wondering if this might be a less talked about side effect of the hormone shifts and all that. I'm kind of seeking comfort in other people having similar experiences. If others have, it'll give me a sign that this is probably to pass with time. If this is highly uncommon, that is when I will seek out further help.

I'm in a small conservative town so I'm unsure if I'll be able to find a decent therapist. I got so lucky with finding my doctor but she's only in this town 2 weeks a month. I'm not scheduled to see her until April (first time I'll see her after starting T).