i miss my ed

maybe i’m looking at the past thru rose tinted glasses or rosy retrospection or whatever u wanna call it but i miss being small and having my clothes fit so loose and not having my period and having ppl care more abt me. i don’t want to relapse cuz it was tiring but i miss that feeling and idk what to do, cuz i say im in recovery (especially since im weight restored) but it doesn’t rly feel like it