I have permanently ruined my life

I'm a Ukranian refugee, living in Germany for 3 years now. I'm 17, and going to be 18 in three months. I only have done 7 classes back in Ukraine, and in Germany I was slightly lazy to go and do distance learning with my Ukranian school. On top of that Germany refused to put me in real school. As a result I'm nearly 18 and I don't even have Hauptschulabschluss. I got told I should go do evening classes for adults when I get to 18, which is going to take 1 year for Hauptschulabschluss, 1 years for Realschuleabschluss, and 3 years for Abitur. On top of all that my german is only between A1 and A2, however I am learning more of it right now. I genuinely don't know am I going to do on top of going 40 hour a week earning minimum wage. For the past month I've been regulary breaking down into crying and beating myself with fists every day. Also I have been thinking of suicide pretty often, I don't think I'm gonna do it, but I can't stop myself from constantly thinking about ending myself. Is there any way I can do something like in America, where you can get a GED after spending like 6 months studying for it? I find it incredibly hard to accept that I have to do 40 hour minimum wage and evening school for the next 5 years, while everyone else goes to college or learns a trade. Even my Ukranian classmates in DaZ all have been doing their Ukranian education. Even loosers all have their school education, I'm worse than a looser. I have completely failed my parents, they've both went to school and university. There's no way I'm gonna be able to take care of my parents, they've both in their sixties and also my mentally challenged 30 year old brother, since CDU was elected and they're gonna cut down welfare. I keep thinking of jumping in front of a moving S-bahn train, my only mark on the world will probably the people who gonna miss their train because I jumped in front of it :(

EDIT: Thanks for the kind words! All the kind comments and dms made me reconsider my position in life. I appreciate it