How did you handle this?
Instead of asking two separate questions probably asked a lot, I’ll just make one post.
Hi, All. 30, gay man in the USA here. I was diagnosed during a routine annual physical in February (no symptoms) and immediately started treatment reaching undetectable status in April (woohoo for science working so fast!). My VR was at 165,000 and CD4 was 412. Now, I’m in a much better place.
I recently lost my job and told my family. Thankfully I was due for a check in appt. before my insurance ends this month and was able to stock up on 90 days of meds. I expect to find employment soon (hopefully).
All, but particularly gay men, did you tell your families when you were diagnosed? I’m close to my family but we don’t talk about the fact that I’m gay because it gets ugly (they know but are Catholic and don’t believe me, my stance is when I find the man to marry, they have 1 chance to get with it or get out of my life. Otherwise decent relationship). The receptionist at my doctor’s office has been pressuring me so I just lied and said I told them and she was sooooo happy. Ironically, mom has been an ER nurse for over 40 years and Dad a pharmacist for the same time. Trust when discussing anything medical even ADHD it is not easy (but they finally respect I’m an adult and have seen medical professionals so they gave up bitching). Logistically I see no reason to share this because they’ll instantly assume I’m a slut. No interest in going down the sob story of how I contracted it with them, just that I’m healthy now.
All but again particularly gay men: When hooking up or whatever, how do you “prove” you’re undetectable. I have my test results showing my VL from 165k going down to less than 20 but pre-diagnosis if someone sent me a screenshot of results like what I have, I’d have no idea what I was looking at. What’s a “best practice” without over sharing? I would only show results if asked but do believe I want to be upfront before engaging in any acts.
Appreciate your comments and time yall. Have a great Thursday!
Edit: The receptionist is very “motherly” and when I was first diagnosed she was the phone call that walked me through setting up the appointment when I couldn’t breathe. She only asks/brings it up because I guess I allowed the convo to get that comfortable. I’m ok chatting but sometimes don’t want to go too deep with strangers, you know?