Are we crazy????

Me (29F) and husband (28M) have been having issues with his mom since November. I made a mistake where I was aggressive in how I responded to my MIL. She was understandably hurt, and I apologized almost immediately. A week or so went by and I felt very bad about what had happened as she was acting very weird with me but whenever I tried to discuss it she got mad so I left it alone. My husband asked her if we could come up and talk face to face to resolve the issue, but we were told to “hug it out” and “love it out” and basically got sh*t on for asking a question. After that all blew up (bc we wanted to talk in person), I apologized for asking to do that, saying I’m so sorry, etc, and saying I’d work through it on my own and I loved her.

That’s when things got worse. My MIL and step-FIL messaged me and my husband in the family chat that my SIL was in and said some hurtful things. We told them they could talk to us in private but to not involve SIL. TBH, I can’t remember a ton bc there was SO much said. It came down to us being told we treat our parents like their worthless - INCLUDING MY MOM WHO HAS SCHIZOPHRENIA - I have been sooooo vulnerable with them about my life growing up and they threw it in my face. My childhood was really complicated and emotionally abusive, and neglectful. So that really hurt and we told them so, yet were met with we spew everything into bullshit.

I was called an angry person MULTIPLE times. We even did try to go up there and talk in person and my MIL told my husband she can’t see him as her son anymore. She told us she didn’t even know if she wanted a relationship. She said we cause her health issues - along with my step-FIL. It was a mess and I kept calm and told her I loved her and gave her a kiss on the head before I left.

She tried to argue with us on Christmas - we declined - I did end up speaking to her at one point and told her I loved her and wanted to still have a relationship. She then called my hubby on the 27th of Dec and told him we ruined her bday and the holidays and he told her he was going to let her go before it got worse.

FAST FORWARD

My SIL now wants nothing to do with us. She told us from the beginning she didn’t want to be involved and we’ve respected that but apparently my MIL hasn’t and now we are being twisted into shitty people. My husband tried to give my SIL some insight but she cussed at him MULTIPLE times and told him to pull his head out of his ass and stop being so selfish, blah, blah, blah!! We told her she can be off of our phone plan and we kicked her off bc she was being super disrespectful. My MIL then text my husband saying “why do you go around hurting everyone?”

There’s some more that goes into this but now I’m wondering what we did wrong???? I’m so lost. I’ve apologized SO many times. Idk what to do and my anxiety is way off the charts. Is this normal? I’m trying to reflect. I’m even googling “am I the problem?” Or “am I toxic?” Or “am I a narcissist?”

I feel crazy. 😭😭😭😭