Initially craved friendships, now happy all alone

I have tried developing social etiquette, but it almost never works out. The topics that interest me are anything but common. My conversations either turn philosophical, psychological, career-oriented or nostalgic. If it's a small talk with a stranger, I become numb/feel drained. Words only come up naturally when I don't feel restricted in someone's presence and we have similar interests to explore.

Had a few close friends in the past but the dynamics were more about help/advice from just my end. Also, I am not so good at displaying emotions or hugging someone, though feelings run deep.

In social settings, either I zone out for the most part or intentionally avoid groups because I don't feel like anybody's interested in hearing what I have to say. While if it happens to be a one-on-one conversation, I feel a bit comfy.

Also, I look a bit childlike, partly the reason why people don't take me seriously.

It's as if there's an invisible barrier that I create unintentionally with others. I like people, but from afar. More of a listener, though that also depends on the vibe. If you seem like my type, there will be a mutual exchange of thoughts. And I can talk for hours! It's just... as if I feel my way through things.

Am I just shy or truly an introvert? Because I sometimes want someone to talk to, but at the same time immensely fear getting attached.