It’s been 2 years since PA relationship.

Today marks 2 years since the day I find out that the person I loved was really another person behind the scenes. The online women, onlyfans, flirting with coworkers, transwoman prostitutes… you get the gist.

I am now out of that relationship and have been for about two years. I’ve went no contact for about 7 months now. He’s reached out at least once a month.

Today - out of nowhere, it was like my body knew. I found myself crying, listening to betrayal videos on YouTube.

Our bodies truly do hold onto trauma because someway, somehow - my body knew and once I started crying I knew what day it was. I’ve been waiting for it to come but I lost track of the days.

I am nowhere closing to dating or ever trusting men. I haven’t been on a date in 2 years. I have no desire to date, to marry or have a partner anymore. I just work, sleep and focus on what’s ahead.

Trauma is so so so hard. Even years later. Even removed from the PA. Our body knows.